Setting Outcomes for Counseling. During our first session we will set some goals for counseling and I will talk about some of the ways I think I can be helpful.
From my perspective, couples counseling is working when any or all of the following is happening:
- You are more aware of how to communicate your needs without criticizing your partner. Learning the difference between a complaint and a criticism.
- You have uncovered what essential kind of growth you need to do in order to make it easier for your partner to give you what you need. You actively experiment with adjusting your behavior and monitor how, in turn, it affects your partner's behavior.
- You have identified caring gestures that both of you have stopped doing and have committed to start doing these again. You actively and consciously add the positive into your relationship.
- You have begun to identify your "ways out" that take energy away from the connection to your partner, and have committed to closing as many "exits" as possible.
- You are open to consider the possibility that your complaints and frustrations about your partner are primarily your issues (you can't
control your partner). I call this the 90/10 principle. You take 90%responsibility for your frustrations and your partner takes 10%. This means that you categorically stop blaming your partner for your frustrations. You begin to articulate your concerns in a way that invite your partner's understanding and help. Couples Counseling Today
Contact Julienne Derichs LCPC
Call 847 266-8484 or email me at JBDCounseling@aol.com
Finding a good couples counselor is not easy, and it is important to call and ask questions.
Give me a call today at 847 266-8484
and take the first step with a free telephone consultation or email me at JBDCounseling@aol.com.
Take Action Soon to Prevent the Pain of a Breakup or Divorce
